Open Question: Can you check my English writing please?

8 February 2012, 2:52 am

This is for IELTS Writing Task1,and I do want to know any mistakes I've made in this writing.(including punctuation and conjunction) Please help me correct it.Thank you very much. Due to the population ageing problems,government is forced to take any appropriate action to come up with solutions.Indeed, it has been through some fierce debates concerning this trend.However, the ageing problems still kept increasing over the past few years. According to the demographics of national bureaus, ageing population will account its census proportion for over 60 per cent in two decades which means the economy,health problems, and infrastructures will be influenced by growing numbers of elderly people.The manufacturing industry will be the first rage group of the society.Because of the lack of productive workers,the output could not be derived without young people.Whereas it is not the most serious one,the most pivotal one is health problems.Probably it is a common issue in the whole world.It is outrageous that older people live in a facility with poor equipment and be looked after by someone without having taken training courses. Despite the negative effects,older people still make contributions to our society.For instance, they do a lot of activities with their family in their twilight years.Bringing a huge economic effect to some specific spots in which might be too far-flung to have tourists.In addition to their health problems,they might be aware that eat supplement and healthy meal could boost their energy and live longer therefore young people will be influenced by them. To sum up, some people might disagree that support older people is a good idea.However, in my point of view, we can not deny them or condemn them to be unproductive or inefficient.They did contribute to the world and play a vital role in the society.If living in a society without them,the doomsday will come sooner or later.... Read More »